Go Home Dell, You’re Drunk!

After my Dell XPS L401x started contributing to the city’s temperature, I got into market for a new laptop. But apparently, the market has moved to Ultrabooks. So, for higher costs, we get less power crammed into a few nanomicrometers of Aluminum. I would really prefer a laptop form factor with a little more power. Anyway, after searching a lot, I settled on Dell Inspiron 15z Touch. I ordered it and yaay, received it today. I’ll skip the unboxing here! I took it out and yeah, this thing is really slim as compared to the previous one.Inspiron 15z Profile

It doesn’t run as hot as furnace. In fact, it feels very pleasant. Unlike earlier Inspirons, build quality is brilliant. The keyboard doesn’t have flex, touchpad is responsive (gestures like scrolling and zooming actually work, by the way), no part is loose or shaky. Overall, the thing looks and feels very good. Did I mention that it’s lighter than I expected? That’s probably because of the build material being polymer instead of metal. I’m pleasantly surprised by the fact that even plastic builds can feel good. I was simply loving it – that is, until I actually booted it up!

I pressed the power button and in about 20 seconds, I was presented with the Windows setup. The very first step on the setup – Give us your email address and allow us to send some more newsletters. Yes, Dell has started it’s OEM non-sense right from the initial setup! But this isn’t a Windows Signature machine, so OEM crapware was expected. Next screen has some checkbox. Now, I wasn’t habitual with this new touchpad so I thought I’d simply touch the screen and check the box. It has a touchscreen, right? Wrong! Touching the screen didn’t make any effect except a small fingerprint on the shiny new screen. ‘Let’s give it a time. Windows may load the touch input drivers after the setup is complete. I got through the setup and nothing happened. Touch definitely wasn’t working. I went ahead and checked the system properties: No pen or touch input available! Something was definitely wrong. And that’s when I saw this:Inspironi5

Yeah! They have sent me a completely different laptop. It does have the same GPU, RAM and HDD, but the processor is i5 instead of i7 I ordered. The touch enabled display is nowhere to be seen. I got back to Dell customer service. I won’t get into the details, but it went something like this:

IVRS: Press one for this. Press two for that.
Customer Care Guy 1: Thank you for calling Dell. How may I help you?
Me: Order number blah blah blah. I got blah blah blah.
CCG1: Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Let me transfer your call to someone else.
CCG2: Thank you for calling Dell. How may I help you?
Me: What? The other guy didn’t forward my details already? Alright, Order number… blah blah blah.
CCG2: Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Let me transfer your call to CompuIndia.com guys. Those are the people who handle orders in India so, obviously, they are responsible for screwing this up.
CompuIndia Guy: Hello sir. I have already been provided with the order number.
Me: Great! Now will you check what that order number corresponds to?
CIG: Let me check. Right, it’s Inspiron 15z Tocuh with i7 blah blah blah.
Me: What did you guys send me?
CIG: Whatever was ordered.
Me: Would you check and confirm that?
CIG: I confirmed. I’m really sorry, the wrong laptop is sent.
Me: Now what?
CIG: It’s already Friday. We’ll arrange pickup on Monday. After a few more days, we will ship the correct order. You’ll have to wait till then.
Me: Hell with your weekend. Ship the correct order by tomorrow or I’m keeping both the laptops.

So, that didn’t go very well. I wasn’t ready at all to wait another week for my laptop to arrive. So, I contacted the Dell representative who was handling my case.

Me: Blah blah blah.
Him: Today, at Dell, we are having an internal party. No work today! Happy weekend.
Me: I need to talk to your seniors.
Him: We’ll work your case out.
Me: I still want to talk to seniors.
Him: Alright. Here you go!

After a whole lot of head banging, those people have finally agreed to speed things up a bit and try to get me the correct order in next few days. But the real question is, how drunk one has to be to manage to screw up at that level? Any ideas?